Looking back at how many times I "lost myself" while trying to "find myself," I can't help but laugh. The things our ego get us to believe...that we are broken, that we are wrong...sends us off into a journey of cat and mouse...where in the end, it just feels like we're chasing our own tails.
I only recently realized, that where I've discovered most of my answers and all of my strength...is in stillness. It is the greatest gift I can give myself.
See, I'm a New Yorker...through and through. I like the energy, the grit, the go-go-go, and like a typical New Yorker, I'm also very type A. When I come across a problem (usually rooted in fear), google is my best friend. I'll read articles, watch youtube videos, scour self help forums. When that doesn't work, I'll call all of my friends, teachers, mentors- anyone who I think can help me find what I'm seeking. But, I slowly started to realize that the more I did, the less it helped. Yes, I got some temporary relief, but the question never seemed fully answered and I never felt at peace.
I think it's because I frantically looked for answers to these "soul" seeking questions outside of my own soul, my own self. I was searching to be fixed, not seeking to evolve. But without fail, when I sit down in the stillness, and I let that question flow through me...the answer always comes. When I'm patient and let the universe do its thing, what I'm seeking always comes, and when I breathe and become present with where I am now, I find, that the peace always comes.
Let me know if this resonates with you in any way....I'd love to hear your story.
Happy healing Wild Ones...