Try not to get that song stuck in your head...heeheehee.
Ok, let's get serious..shadow serious. Dark side serious.
I'm reading The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford and this quote came up and rocked my world.
I always knew that it was important to get suspicious about what triggers us. As a life coach, I've made a practice to reflect, examine my traits, question my habits, look for the root.
But Debbie takes it to a whole nutha level.
She posits that everything which moves us about another human being- good or bad- is only because we are that thing. Meaning, if you're deeply effected by people who litter, for example....it's because a part of you contains that same quality a person needs to have in order to be capable of littering (thoughtlessness, irresponsibility, ignorance)- but disowned.
She goes onto say that the reason why you're so triggered (vs. just picking it up and throwing it out) is because it's a shadow part of yourself that has been denied, locked up.
Now, same goes for good qualities. She says that sometimes, If you're idolizing someone, it might be because that quality in them you're so drawn to is a disowned part of yourself...a part that you have not fully recognized and celebrated (within you).
I'm sure we can all relate to that. I have on many occasions looked at someone and said to myself, "Wow, she's so magical, I could never be like that."
She suggests that we write down all the things that piss us off about other people as well as all the things we idolize and ask ourselves- how does this live in me?
With that said...the very next day, I got a newsletter from Danielle Laporte (love her) in my inbox speaking about the very same thing- but in opposition to this concept! Her stance was, "Just because you've brought a total jerkface asshole into your reality, it doesn't mean that they are mirroring your inner jerkface asshole-ness. It might just mean that they're a total jerk. And you're not. And your job/opportunity is to choose how to respond to them."
Personally, I take this as a message from the universe telling me to balance myself. I tend to latch onto new concepts and run. I'm extreme like that.
What I think might be the difference though, between what Danielle is talking about vs what Debbie is saying, is the level of effect, level of trigger it has on you.
If he's a jerk and you recognize he's a jerk and you can quickly go to the lesson about why he's in your life...then it's all good. Not your shadow self disowned. If he's a jerk and it drives you bananas...maybe something to look into?
What do you think? Would love to hear your thoughts!